i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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