why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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