i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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