You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
