No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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