At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
