And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
