he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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