ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
