the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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