i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
