Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
