please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
