i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
