I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dicks are not precious.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
