apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
