that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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