As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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