Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
