Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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