Have you finally orgasmed yet?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
This house was built for laser tag.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
