I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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