This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We need to rekindle our bromance
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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