im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
