plz talk dirty to me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
