That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize