Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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