i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
