he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
