...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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