I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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