After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Never joke about your clitoris.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
