You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have post one night stand depression
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
