I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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