Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
