From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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