Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
