Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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