So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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