Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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