Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
