do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
