So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My cat gives me a boner
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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