I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
two words...techno handjob
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
