On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
