i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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