Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
