I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
how drunk are you?
Several
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
