Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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