You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
