Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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