Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
