you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize