So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
