Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
