last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
