M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
