And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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