So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
