i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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