I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
