i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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