then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize