Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Alive.
So much puke
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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