Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
