im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize