We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize