I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Houston, we have a squirter
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
