You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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