I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
