Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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