Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found puke in my bra..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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