I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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