After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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