TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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