i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
