I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
