JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
